Recently a young child asked me, “How come the Easter Bunny hides his eggs?”
Hmmm-good question. It is just one of those things that I never really looked into. But, being a good question, I thought it deserves a good answer. So I posed the same question to the best source I could come up with, the Easter Bunny’s psychiatrist.
Dr. Wise O. Hooter, a noted barnyard shrink and sage advisor to many infamous critters around these parts, told me that one morning this young bunny came to him in an obvious panic. He was seeking advice on how to handle a somewhat odd set of circumstances that had suddenly developed in his life.
What follows is his explanation of the unusual circumstances surrounding the plight of the Easter Bunny and subsequently, why he indeed feels compelled to hide his eggs.
The following is the story, as he told it, to me.
The bunny began, “Doctor, you have got to help me! I answered an ad for a part-time job. It said ‘work one weekend, some light delivery required, must be fast and able to cover a lot of ground in a short period of time.’ It sounded simple enough and I needed the work so I took that job.”
“So what’s the problem?” asked the doctor.
“As soon as I accepted this position, they named me The Easter Bunny and it all started!” He replied as he paced back and forth in an obvious panic.
“Now, now, calm down and tell me what started”, said the doctor.
“The eggs… I started laying eggs…and I am still laying eggs… Big eggs, little eggs, colored eggs, stripped eggs… piles and piles of eggs! Some of them are hard and sweet to the taste, others are chewy, some are filled with crème, some with peanut butter and others with coconut… and I could go on and on… Doc, you have got to help me, I don’t know what to do!” He explained.
“Hmmm…this is unusual, but not totally unheard of,” the doctor began. “Just the other day there was a goose in here that started laying golden eggs. That created all sorts of social problems for her. Everybody wanted her to come live with them. I couldn’t stop her from laying those golden eggs, but I did tell her to find the tallest beanstalk she could find and hide up there until someone came along that would appreciate her new talent. I don’t know what ever became of her, though,” he continued.
“But Doc, what about me? What am I going to do with all these eggs?” continued the bunny.
“Here is a thought, I understand the Little Red Hen’s bread baking business is slow, can’t get good help you see. Maybe she could weave some baskets. Then get the Red-Red Robin to line them with grass; she could gather it as she bob, bob, bobs along. Fill those baskets with these eggs you keep talking about, and then leave them for the humans to eat.” said the doctor.
“But Doc, there are so many of them, I’ll need help.” the bunny countered.
“There is a little old lady down the street, she lives in a shoe, and she has so many kids who all need something to do. As bad as the economy is, they should be glad to help you out and probably would enjoy an egg or two themselves,” was his reply.
“Go see Old Mother Hubbard; you could stash a few in her cupboard, there’s always room there,” the doctor continued.
“Ok, ok, but even if I leave a basket full of eggs at every house and fill up Old Mother Hubbard’s cupboard, I’m going to have a bunch left over. What should I do with them?” he asked.
“For goodness sakes, hide those eggs! … And hide them good! If the humans ever find out you are laying eggs, they are going to be after you to keep on laying them. They will want to commercialize you and this whole situation. They will want to package them and sell them in their stores and market places. They will write stories about you, and post your picture all over everything. They will have contests and your eggs will be their prizes! Oh, you’ll be famous and they will all be hunting you… you will never be able to give up this job! So, you had better hide those eggs and skee-daddle on back into the woods before the little old lady’s kids start blabbing about a bunny laying eggs. And besides that, according to Henny Penny, the sky is going to be falling real soon, so get going!” was the doctor’s advise.
The Easter Bunny mulled it over, decided the doctor’s plan was the way to go and off he went. He hopped along the way, hurriedly delivering his baskets and hiding his eggs until they were all gone. (The sky never did fall after all.)
Having finished a little early, he hid in the bushes and watched as the human kids scattered about in search of his eggs. He was amazed at the joy he saw in their faces as they competed for them; looking high and low. He even found himself cheering them on and silently joining in on their excitement as they found them and gathered them up. It was then, he realized his plight was not so bad; it did have rewards and he just might keep this job and do it again next year.
That’s how the Easter bunny got started. He turned his stressful part-time job into a fulfilling and rewarding life-long career… and I image he will stay with it for many, many years to come!
Wishing you all a Happy Easter and a great week ahead!
Ward Phillips is the publisher of The News-Democrat, a Magic Valley Publishing Co. newspaper in Waverly. He may be contacted by email email@example.com