All marriages are not created equal. In some the relationship is superficial, and the two individuals share a license but nothing else, including dwelling place. There is the relationship where the two share daily responsibilities but nothing else. Then, there is the relationship where both adore each other and hold the other on a pedestal, where the other is your partner, lover and confidant with whom you share not only yourself but common interests and goals. The latter is the recipe for intense sorrow when one departs. It probably is a rare event when both depart at the same time; thus, one is going to experience widowhood. Though this is expected, it is rare that we are fully prepared for when this separation occurs.
When the male partner, dear friend, co-worker and life-partner dies and his wife shares the statement he made that she was his queen and she completed him, separation is understandably difficult. It was apparent that she also adored him, as she struggled seeing him decline in health beginning with dementia with other health issues following, including hearing loss. He eventually was bedridden and unaware when people came into the room. How does the surviving partner build closure when your lover, friend and soul mate dies? You feel lost, and you feel as if you are falling apart. At the same time, you must take care of circumstances surrounding the funeral preparation because there is no one else. The hard reality is that life goes on – with demands and responsibilities that must be tended, and there are people, children, grandchildren, or others who depend upon the adults in their life. Closure must and can come. Everything may not be perfect, but you slowly heal anyway.
This is Sunrise, sunrise@sfdcares.com
