By David Coy
Sunrise
Many years ago, I had a client who, when I entered their home, had all the blinds or shades closed, and the living quarters was very dark. They were attempting to escape the responsibility of the pain of loss they were experiencing. They are not alone. Many have attempted to do so by different means. Some have refused to accept the reality before them. I knew someone who lost a loved one and just could not accept the loss and thus never allowed themselves to heal from their pain. Losing something or someone of value is difficult to accept, but sometimes, there is nothing we could have done to bring about a different outcome. As difficult as the loss is, we have to accept it and rebuild our life to a healthy, balanced format. We are living in an environment and a culture where some are increasingly attempting to escape their individual responsibility and expect someone else to assume the responsibility that is rightfully their own. As a grief consoler/counselor, it is my responsibility to support and when necessary counsel the bereaved not take their pain or fear away or fix them or do for them what is their responsibility and ability to do for themselves.
Galatians chapter six and verse five says, “For each person will (must) carry his own load.” Yes, we are to bear the burden of others in sympathy while not abdicating our own burden. Aesop says a man carries two bags over his shoulder, the one with his own burden hanging behind and his neighbors in front. The difficulty comes from our inability to accept our own responsibility. It is too painful, so we seek for someone else to carry the pain instead. In so doing we give our power, our freedom to another.
This is Sunrise Aftercare, sunrise@sfdcares.com.
