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Sunrise By David Coy: Violent Loss 3

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By David Coy

We love so much because we develop attachments and make investments in the lives of others as they do in ours. This may be what Rosenthal meant by, “Nobody can walk into death and walk back out the same person.” Loss changes us. It is believed by some that loss by homicide is more intense and profound. Surviving family members have indicated that feelings and assistance from family, friends and others, including professionals, is a vital inclusion in one’s support system and rebuilding the new reality that now exists. The generalized conclusions that have been made from a handful of studies is that surviving family members of homicide victims had increase distress and anxiety in their lives, increased randomness and a decrease in meaning in their lives. The difference that more often made a positive impact was the inclusion of peer, family, and counseling support. Again it is believed that the closer the relationship the more intense the grief and women felt more deeply loss emotionally than did males.
For most people talking to others on a regular basis is therapeutic. There are exceptions to that principle, but they are rare, not the norm. Shakespeare said, “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er brought heart and bids it break.” (1623, p. 121). It truly does help to talk about how you/we are doing in our lives with someone on a regular basis. Then each day you put one foot in front of the other and fulfill the tasks that each day demands. Going to work or school. Eating and sleeping sufficient for what the body and mind require to function in a healthy manner. Paying immediate bills and getting some sort of physical activity and social interaction are likewise important.
This is Sunrise Aftercare, sunrise@sfdcares.com.

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