By David Coy
Sunrise
Alanis Morrisette at the end of her song “You Learn” sings, “You grieve, you learn/You choke, you learn/You laugh, you learn/You choose, you learn/You pray, you learn/You ask, you learn/You live, you learn.”
Grief is a very painful tutor in a person’s life. Some people believe that we go through stages or phases. People such as myself believe it is a journey one travels. The fluid aspect is that we are all unique individuals with unique life experiences and unique grief experiences also. As such, our experiences are changing with every passing day because change in our life is a constant; therefore, they can not be fixed into a set of stages and phases as individuals are uniquely different from one to another. This I like to call the monogenes (unique one of a kind) principle.
As people, we lose loved ones. A real life case in point is the man described in John 11 with the death of Lazarus. The text says, “He whom you cherish is ailing.” The word cherish is from the Greek phileo; to be a friend to, to show signs of love, to kiss” Also notice the reaction of Lazarus’s death to those who loved him. Martha was “weeping” (mourn, weep, lament), and Jesus also wept and shed tears. (vs. 33, 35). Clearly, he was deeply moved within himself as he was troubled (agitated) by Lazarus’s death (vs. 33). Notice Jesus recognized the value and importance of allowing family and friends to “express their feelings” about their loss. He (Jesus) as the master counselor (Isaiah 9:6) actively listened to them. Second, he (Jesus) showed empathy, placing himself in their shoes so to speak and understand from their perspective what they were experiencing. As Wright says it, “to see the loss through the person’s eye’s.” vss. 21, 32, 35. Our journey with grief is eased when we have family and friends who are willing to walk with us in that journey.
This is Sunrise Aftercare.
