To express grief or sorrow; to be sorrowful. There are two aspects of mourning. The first is how should we express our sorrow? Is there a right way or wrong way to mourn? Some people seem to think so, but I do not. Now, there is a difference between normal and complicated grief, and this is an important distinction to understand. Normal grief has individuals accepting the new reality that is thrust upon them. It is not unusual that our head recognizes our loss, but emotionally, what we often call our heart takes longer to adjust to our monumental change in our lives. Emotions can be overwhelming, especially when in our journey with grief multiple symptoms develop at the same time. Time is not necessarily a problem; as long as we are accepting reality and are not in denial of what has happened, then if it takes us longer to heal and move forward than other people that is perfectly acceptable and normal. Some people are expressive in their sorrow; my wife is one example of that. I am not. Do we both mourn? Yes, we just do so differently from one another. It is not a question of right and wrong way of mourning because one is expressive and one is not, but rather we are different, and thus we process loss and express sorrow differently.
Another aspect of mourning is how others should receive and accept our expression whether outwardly and visible as some do or inwardly and not so visible as do I. When I am aware of someone who has lost a family or friend by death, if I know the mourner well, I should be aware if they are expressive or not or if they are accepting the loss and their new reality. Also, if I am close to them, I am going to accept the way they process their loss and give them the support they need and not expect them to mourn as I do. I will respect their different manner of mourning. Call David at 879-6284.
