By David Coy
Sunrise
I can actually remember a funeral of my maternal family being held in my grandmother’s living room. The coffin resting prominently for all to see. While I think generally that this illustrates how far we have distanced ourselves from the personal approach to dealing with loss as a society, I was also reminded that for some this would be too intense for them to deal with in their home. I also am aware that as a culture we do not feel comfortable talking about death even impending death. Another illustration is how my father-in-law prior to his death made very detailed plans of his funeral and sent it out to all family and friends via email, including any part in his funeral service they might take part. Not everyone appreciated this approach, and some were highly offended. I do not understand their offense; their being uncomfortable in dealing with the subject, yes, but their offense, no. Some people do not take their young children to a funeral or allow them to experience matters of the heart where dying and death are concerned. I know this is a mistake since this is an appointment we all shall keep one day, and the more we experience it and are taught that, though it is a sad occasion, it is a normal cycle of life the better young people will be able to cope and manage as adults.
We may not enjoy talking about dying and death, but we should anyway. We should teach it to our young and model appropriate behavior before them as well including crying in front of them (it is not a sign of weakness). If we are expressive with our emotions, then we should do so regardless of the circumstances (happy, sad, mad, etc.). In this way our children and grandchildren learn to behave consistently with family, friends and others supporting us in our journey. If we may serve you as an individual, family or group, please let us know.
This is Sunrise Aftercare.
