For many who love deeply, losing someone they loved and held to high esteem is one of the most difficult, traumatic events that can occur in a person’s life. Alfred Tennyson described it best when he said, “I hold it true, what’er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; Tis better to have love and lost than never to have love at all.”
Perhaps this is no more true than when a mother is the one who is lost. When someone who is deeply loved is lost, people find it difficult to recover from the loss and to rebuild a life apart from them. Mothers are no exception; someone has said concerning them, “No painter’s brush nor poet ’s pen in justice to her name, has ever reached half high enough to write the mother’s name. Make ink of tears and molten gems, and sunbeams mixed together; with holy hand and golden pen, go write the name of mother.”
How do we move forward from a deeply felt traumatic loss such as one might experience with the loss of a beloved mother or child? Begin by understanding basic truths. Life, our life, is a journey we did not have any choice in. Life is brief and is filled with commotion. Longfellow wrote what may be described as a psalm of life: “Tell me not in mournful numbers, life is but an empty dream! For the soul is dead that slumbers, and things are not what they seem. Life is real! Life is earnest! And the grave is not its goal; dust thou art, to dust returnest, was not spoken of the soul.” Death also will not be a choice we make for ourselves or a loved one, but it is a journey we will make. Thus, we should make the choice to live our life – a prepared life of honor and full of purpose for today and in hope of tomorrow for life is brief.
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This is Sunrise Aftercare, sunrise@sfdcaares.com
